


msannomalley Reviews Attack of the Space Terrapin/Gatchaman versus Turtle King

by PrairieChzHead (msannomalley)



Series: msannomalley Reviews Battle of the Planets/Gatchaman [1]
Category: Battle of the Planets, Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman & Related Fandoms, Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman | Science Ninja Team Gatchaman
Genre: Episode Review, Nose Cola, Snark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 07:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3801493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msannomalley/pseuds/PrairieChzHead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The episodes that started it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Attack of the Space Terrapin

First off, this episode opens with completely different credits than what most of us remember.  It's mainly shots lifted from this episode, with a few from a different episode.

After the credits, we go right to a room with a bunch of controls in it.  An R2-D2 like robot tells us, "Somewhere, off the west coast of the United States, 900 fathoms beneath the surface of the sea, is a secret, extremely important world defense base, Center Neptune."  The little robot also tells us that a precious mineral, Vitalumis, is mined there.  This Vitalumis is some pretty amazing stuff, since it renews the nutrients in the soil.  Nothing can be grown without this ore and many galaxies could face starvation if something happened to it.

As the robot is talking, we see five people dressed in bird-like costumes.  They have helmets with beak-shaped visors, winged capes, boots and the like.  There are three guys, a kid, and a woman.  The robot, who has yet to introduce itself to us, says that the job of protecting this base belongs to G-Force, which would be the five people we are watching right at this moment.

Then we see the robot again, and he introduces himself to us.  He is 7-Zark-7, the computerized coordinator for G-Force.  And yes, he's the robot a lot of us love to hate.  Zark explains that everything that comes into the base comes in through him, and it's also his job to watch G-Force every moment of the day and night.  And I'm feeling creeped out already by this remark.  Zark tells us that he doesn't need sleep because he's a robot.

We're saved by a buzzer.  It seems that there is an emergency.  We see a light house on shore and it's a dark and stormy night.  Zark chirps in as the narrator, saying that he's been informed by the Cosmic Space Patrol that a mysterious UFO has been sighted.  And no sooner does Zark say that, than a big mechanical turtle with spiky bits down it's back rises from the water.  Zark tells us that it's a radio controlled attack unit from Planet Spectra, a very advanced planet from a hostile galaxy.  The Space Terrapin takes off, headed for one of the vaults storing the Vitalumis.  Zark is panicky as he's contacting someone.  Who?  I don't know, but as Zark is saying this, the Space Terrapin fries the light house and destroys it.  Then it lands, sticking it's foot inside a building.  The regular army tries to stop it, but shooting missiles at the thing's butt isn't effective.  In an MST3K moment during that bit, I'm going, "Hemerrhoids are like missiles being shot up your ass."  *big evil grin* While it's being attacked, the Space Terrapin is stealing the Vitalumis.  When it's finished, it takes off, hovers in the air, and toasts the conventional army.

Back at Center Neptune, Zark is pacing around.  He's wondering why Spectra would want to steal the Vitalumis when they give it away freely to anyone who needs it.  Uh, maybe because they're the bad guys, Zark?  Bad guys tend to do stuff like steal and pillage.  Zark decides he'd better get G-Force on this and right away.

Next we see a Cessna flying in the air.  Zark is heard contacting this person in the plane and informing him of a "hot scan".  That's nice, Zark, but think there are more important things to tell this guy than about the porn pictures you've scanned. 

We learn that the pilot's name is Mark and Mark responds by saying, "Ears on, Zark.  Ten-two."  And when we were watching this one day, my husband, Mr. Ann O'Malley, goes, "Ten to what?"  And I reply, in full MST3K mode, "Ten to your own damn business."  And Mr. Ann cracked up and started laughing his butt off.  But I digress...

Ah, the Seventies.  A time when people felt no qualms about talking like truckers.  *grin*

Anyway, Zark informs Mark that he'd better assemble his team because Zark's located an invader from Spectra.  He gives Mark some coordinates and says that he'll transmute Mark.  Mark replies, "Big Ten."  Then he swoops down in his plane over the water.  Back in the cockpit, Mark brings his arm around and in front of his face.  Then he says, "Transmute!"  Then we get some swirly bits and Mark changes from his civilian clothes to his G-Force Birdstyle of The Eagle.  He's got the white and blue uniform.  His plane goes from Cessna to fighter jet, too.

Then Zark chimes in, in this kind of confident, cocky, I'm the God voice, "Well that's one of the many conversion phases I control."  Excuse me?  I didn't see you do anything.  Mark did all the work here.  As we see the jet flying, Zark does say that Mark is the real leader of G-Force.  Well I should hope so.  Anyone but you, Zark.

Next, we see a young woman riding on a motorcycle.  She is dressed in white wings, a white swan helmet, thigh-high white boots, and a pink mini-dress.  Zark tells us that her name is Princess.  He is careful to point out to us that she is the only female of the group.

Next, a blue and red ship surfaces from the water, piloted by a large guy wearing a green owl helmet, green wings, and green suit.  He is sitting up in a big, clear bubble.   His name is Tiny Harper and he pilots the command ship, The Phoenix, and assembles the group.  He is also the only member of G-Force with a last name.

Next we see Princess again, and the Phoenix is coming up behind her, ready to pick her up.  As she is being picked up Zark says that he "pays special attention" to her, but he really doesn't know why.  And I'm thinking that maybe Princess should be told about this and look into getting a restraining order, considering Zark's earlier remark about him watching G-Force every moment of the day and night.  *shudder*    We see a ramp come out of one of the wing pods.  Princess drives her bike onto it and some clampy type things catch the bike.  The ramp is drawn back into the wing pod, the bottom hatch closes, and Princess gets off the bike.  She goes over to a chute and slides down it.

Next, is an orange buggy, tracker thing.  The other wing pod opens and some grippy things come out and pick up the buggy.  Once inside, the front hatch opens up and a boy wearing a swallow's helmet, dark blue wings, red boots and gloves, and a yellow suit slides out.  Zark tells us that this is Keyop and he is very special and different.  Keyop is manufactured.  In other words, he's a clone.  Zark tells us that Keyop's speech is a "little peculiar" but his powers are amazing.

Next, and the moment Ms. Ann The Fan Girl (who actually isn't a fan girl, but plays one on the Internet) has been waiting for, we see a blue Formula One type race car driving along with the Phoenix coming up behind it.  Inside the car, we see a guy dressed in a black condor helmet, blue wings, dark blue gloves and boots (well, we don't see the boots), and brown (although some say rust or crimson.  It looks brown to me.) suit.  Zark introduces us to Jason, whom he says is "very capable, but just a trifle eager and hot-headed sometimes."  In other words, he's the Bad Boy, the Cool One, and the one many females like a lot.   As Zark tells us this, a pair of grappling arms comes out of the Phoenix's nose.  They attach themselves to Jason's car and they pull it up against the nose of the ship.  The blue and red nose cone closes over the car.  Jason puts on the parking brake and reclines the seat back.  The back window of the car opens, revealing a chute with some handrails, and then we see Jason pulling himself up this chute.  As he is doing this, Zark remarks, "So emotional.  I do wish he had solid state circuitry like mine."  Uh, he will, Zark.  Except his name will be Joe, the censors will not be around to edit out some of the words he says and things he does, and it will happen in a series called Gatchaman II. 

And last but not least, Mark docks his jet in the back end of the Phoenix.  As he does this, Zark explains that the members of G-Force all have miniaturized cerebonic implants which give them fantastic abilities beyond those of other humans.  As we see Tiny come down from the bubble, Zark explains that G-Force are all orphans who have been trained almost since birth to develop those powers.  Tiny comes down into the cockpit and we get a pan shot of the entire G-Force team.   Then Zark says something about how much he worries about them.

Then Zark tells G-Force that they're right on target.  In the cockpit, Keyop is tossing his bolos in the air and he beeps and stutters (his "peculiar" speech), "My bare hands."  Princess scolds him, telling Keyop that he can't go after the Space Terrapin alone.

Back to Zark, who says "It's from Spectra!  This is the third time we've been invaded!"

Cut to the Phoenix, where Jason goes, "Just let me get a laser bead on it.  This will be their last attack."  And Jason's voice sounds different from what I remember.

Cut to Zark.  Zark says dryly, "I believe that's what you said last time, Jason."   

Bite me, Zark.

Back to the Phoenix.  Jason turns around in a defiant way, as if to say to the little tin can, "F--- you."   Now you see why I like this guy?

Back to Zark.  Zark lost the Space Terrapin from his monitors.  Zark's not so competent, now, is he?  He tells G-Force that they're on their own.  On the Phoenix, Mark goes, "Big ten."  Zark is now breaking contact with G-Force, and I'm sure they're all happy about that.

On the Phoenix, Mark goes, "Good old reliable Zark says it's invaders from Planet Spectra again."  I wonder how much Zark paid Mark to say that.  As Mark is talking, the shot pans across the Phoenix.  We see Mark standing up, and Princess and Jason sitting at their stations, next to each other.  Princess goes, "I wonder what they'll look like this time."  In a blurb we didn't get to see, Mark somehow changed places with Jason and he is sitting next to Princess.  Mark replies in a Commander type voice, "Probably two-headed."  Then Princess goes, "Well, they say two heads are better than one."  Groan!  Then Mark goes, "Not on the same body!" He says this kind of sarcastically.

I guess Mark and Jason did change places, because Jason is now where Mark was standing.  Tiny, speaking in a voice different from what I remember sees a whirlpool.  Jason and Keyop move in closer for a better look.  Then Keyop is playing with his bolos, and he goes, "The ocean."  And he says it like he's saying, "Well, duh!"  Then Mark, in a patronizing voice I have come to loathe and despise, replies, "We know it's the ocean."  Tiny goes, "We're going for it." He takes the ship under the water.  They come across a trail of brown smoke, coming from some cave that is only partially submerged.  Tiny takes the Phoenix through this cave, following the trail.  Mark goes, "It may be attacking our underwater base."  Princess says that there's nothing on the scanners and Jason backs her up.  Then Princess tells Mark she thinks that they should have stayed above.

Meanwhile, somewhere above the ocean, the Space Terrapin shows up and starts trashing another base of some kind.  The regular military shows up and can't do squat against the Space Terrapin.

The Phoenix comes out of the underwater cave and Tiny starts taking her up.  Mark wonders aloud that the Space Terrapin has got to be above.  He gives Tiny the order to surface, but Tiny is way ahead of him.  The Phoenix is more than halfway to the surface.  Once they reach the surface, they see the Space Terrapin trashing things.  Keyop goes, "Alive?"  And Jason replies, "Yeah, it's alive, but ugly aliens."  Huh?  Or maybe he meant "Butt ugly aliens".  I don't know.    Then Jason wants to "give it a laser blast."  And he tells Tiny to dive at the Space Terrapin.  Mark, in a bit of  **Acting!** , tells Jason no.  He does this by coming towards Jason and laying an arm across him.  And I really think Jason should tell Mark not to touch him like that, because Mark does this a lot in the series.  I don't think it's because Mark swings "that way", but rather it's how Mark boosts his own ego and shows that he's In Charge.  But Jason goes, "Believe me, I can."  Mark goes, "It's only one attack vehicle.  There may be more.  We've got to follow it and find its base."  Jason replies, in a really sarcastic way, "We're gonna play tag!  Isn't that fun, Tiny?"  Then Jason gives Mark a look that says he's challenging Mark.  It's really cool.  And Mark stares at him right back.

Back at Center Neptune, Zark babbles on about the missing monster and wonders if he should wear glasses.  Then the Space Terrapin shows up again.  It's flying from all the wreckage it has caused.  Mark breaks away from his staring contest with Jason, and over Mark's shoulder, Jason is giving his commander a dirty look.  ("Hah!  I won, you dolt!")  Anyway, Keyop remarks that the Space Terrapin is ugly and Princess goes, "It's a good thing we have ears on, Zark."  Well, I should hope so.  Zark goes, "Yes, Princess" and something about him always keeping his sensors on.  Then he says something unintelligible and then giggles.  The giggle is really creepy, icky, and annoying.  Zark should never giggle.

Then Tiny is shown, wiping his nose for some reason.  A cold?  Allergies?  I don't know.  But as he does this, he goes, "It's headed for Storage Vault Number Seven."  Then Keyop goes, "Wipeout."  Princess replies, "You're not in charge Keyop."  As she says this, the camera pans over to show Mark in front, and Princess is over his shoulder.  She's the Angel.  Jason is over Mark's other shoulder, and we know what he's supposed to represent.  But I don't care.  I just thought it's an interesting shot.  Anyway, Jason goes, "Keyop's right.  I say wipe it out!"  Then he reaches for the Big Red Button.  Mark grabs Jason's hand, and I'm thinking that Jason really needs to have a talk with Mark about all this touching.  ("Mark?  Do you know what bad touch is?  You touch me; it's bad.").  Mark goes, "Hold it Jason."  Jason goes, "Or what?"  Jason's really milking the bad attitude thing today.  *grin*    Then Mark goes, "I think I know the answer."  Jason asks, "What's the question?" as a wicked grin appears on his face.  Then Mark says that they haven't been able to find the ship's base because the ship  _is_ the base.  Jason thinks that's pretty weird, and Mark says he'll prove it if they can get inside.  Mark spotted an open ventilator shaft on the Space Terrapin.  Keyop remarks, "Itsy, bitsy.  Teeny-weeny."  Mark goes, "I know, Keyop.  This isn't your bag.  You'll get your chance later."  You gotta just love 70's slang.  *grin*

Jason goes, "Okay Mark, let's try your kooky idea."  Then Princess goes, "Hey!  It's my turn!  If you don't mind, I'm going with Mark."  Oookay!  Jason just turns his head away.  Then Keyop teases Princess.  "Oh!  Lovey-dovey!  Marky-warky!"  Princess blushes and Keyop giggles.

Mark and Princess are up on the bubble and they jump up towards the Space Terrapin.  They flip over a couple of times and I'm sure all the boys who watched this back in the day and all the guys who watch this now are paying special attention to Princess as she is flipping because we see her underwear.  Yes, it's that famous shot from the opening credits.  They land on the enemy craft and find the opening and sneak inside.  Once inside, they go their separate ways.  Mark goes looking for the Vitalumis and Princess goes above, looking for the phaser controls.  Princess starts rigging up a bomb to put on the big laser gun thing that the Terrapin has.

The Phoenix is flying around the big spiky turtle, and the Commander of the week, surrounded by Green Guys spots it.  The commander has an octupus head mask on and his voice sounds like Scrooge McDuck.  Octopus Head orders the goons to shoot at the Phoenix.  Meanwhile, Princess is still working on that bomb and she finishes her task and gets away.  Octo Head pushes the button to fire his laser cannon/prismatic ray thing, but it blows up instead.  Octopus Head is not a happy camper.

Back on a lower level, Mark opens the landing bay so the Phoenix can come aboard.  It does, and then Jason, Keyop, and Tiny come out.  They jump out of the bubble and they land on the floor, in those poses we see in the opening credits.  All three look ready to fight.  While this is going on, Zark babbles something.  G-Force meets up.  Mark can't find the Vitalumis.  Tiny thinks this mission is "nowhere", but Mark is sure that this is the base.  "We just haven't looked hard enough."

Then Octo Head finds them.  He cackles something about Earth sending children to stop the most powerful ship from Crab Nebula.  Mark yells, "We're getting tired of your invasions!"  Keyop goes, "Pain in neck!"  Then Jason goes to Mark, "We've got to use the Rotor Force."  Mark goes, "Jet Spiral on minus two."  Octopus Head goes on about G-Force surrendering and how his supreme ruler will be pleased to see this, or something.  Mark goes, "Hate to disappoint your ruler..."   Then Jason and Tiny come together, linking arms at the shoulders.  Then Mark and Princess jump on Jason and Tiny's shoulders and they link their arms.  Then Keyop jumps on Mark and Princess's shoulders.  Then Mark continues, "But you can take him this message just for laughs."  Then Keyop goes, "Buzz off!"  The group spread their wings, and they start spinning.  It's the Whirlwind Pyramid!

Goons start flying around and Octopus Head is about to get blown away.  The Whirlwind Pyramid goes up in the air, and then it breaks apart.  G-Force takes on the goons, but we only see Keyop, Princess, and Mark actually taking out goons.  I wonder why we don't get to see Jason and Tiny doing this?  Maybe standards and practices knows.  As Mark launches off his Sonic Boomerang, it make a noise that sounds like the Jetson's space ship.  Zark chimes in to say that even though this boomerang is hitting goons, it's only giving them concussions and they will wake up soon.  Sure it is, Zark. 

Octo Head has escaped into a room and is talking to someone on screen.  He is wearing purple and has a pointy-eared mask on.  It's Zoltar.  Zoltar calls Octo Head a fool.  Octo Head's excuse for his failure is that G-Force possesses strange powers.  Zoltar must report this to Oh Luminous One.  Oh Luminous One is a giant blue chicken head or a butane flame with eyes that appears in a screen with this neat swirly lava background.  The Almighty Butane says that the Space Terrapin has outlived its usefulness and it must be destroyed.  Zoltar lays on the titles of respect rather thick.  Oh Luminous One says that Spectra needs better weapons and strategy against G-Force.  The commander, Octopus Head, is to return in the escape ship with what he has.

Mark sees the head of the Terrapin detaching and G-Force runs like hell to get back to the Phoenix.  What they don't know, although they run past it, is that there is a cleverly hidden time bomb set to go off.  G-Force gets into the Phoenix and the ship takes off.  The body of the terrapin starts falling towards the ocean, causing the Phoenix to be jerked back.  As this is going on, Zark tells us that if G-Force can't get out in time, they'll have to resort to their Last Resort, The Fiery Phoenix.  The Phoenix is almost out of the terrapin, when the doors close on one of the wing pods.

Can you just stand the tension?

Mark says their stuck.  Jason says that Tiny should give it full power to break it loose.  Mark agrees because they don't want to go to the Fiery Phoenix unless they have to.  They give it a good old college try, but it doesn't work.  As the terrapin is falling, Mark gives the order to go to the Fiery Phoenix.  Everyone takes their seats.  The lever is pushed up and the ship goes into Fiery Phoenix mode.  The cockpit glows and there is much grimacing among G-Force because it's taking all of their cerebonic implants to make this go, not to mention that it has to be just that darn hot!  The ship melts the door away and escapes just in time.  The bomb on the terrapin blows up and mechanical turtle pieces go splashing into the ocean.

Zark chimes in to tell us that in twenty four hours, the Phoenix will be back to normal and that G-Force is all right.  Then he babbles some more about whatever.  An alarm goes off because there's another emergency.  I guess Zark will have to call in the B-Team for this one, seeing that G-Force is going to be in that firebird for the next twenty-four hours.

Then it's the end credits.  The sequence is different, but as I'm reading the credits, I notice that there is someone listed as "Standards and Practices".  Hmmm...   
  


* * *

**Thoughts From Ms. Ann:**

What can I say?  This is the episode that started it all for me, and for many other people.  It started this fascination with a show about five people dressed as birds who save the world.  And for many of us, that fascination grew by leaps and bounds, and made us into anime fans.

Battle of the Planets is one of those warm, fuzzy childhood memories of mine, along with Star Wars, Saturday Morning Cartoons, Little House on the Prairie, and Trixie Belden books.  Even watching this show as an adult, I still have a warm place in my heart for it, despite the choppy editing, the campiness, and the explanations given for the stuff that was cut out.

It's also one of those things Mr. Ann O'Malley and I have in common, as he loved this show to death as a child, too.  :)

And I have to say something about Jason.  As a child (and to this day), he is my favorite character on this show.  Jason is probably responsible for the "bad boy" complex I have.  He is certainly not the first "bad boy" I've admired, and he is certainly not the last.  Jason was my first Condor.  What is it about him that I like?  Well, as a child, Mark always struck me as a "goody-goody" type, always right and always perfect and kind of a wet blanket.  Jason is not perfect.  He has emotions, he questions things, and he stirs things up a bit.  The whole Zark spiel about being "a trifle eager and a bit hot-headed" always came off as sounding like "Well, kids, you shouldn't be this way.  You should be like Mark."  Well, Mark was boring, the typical American pop culture superhero type who was perfect.  Jason was anything but boring.  It also seemed to me that despite what Zark said, Jason wasn't bad.  In spite of what Zark says, Jason was always stomped down by the others before he could really do anything to live up to this reputation he had.  But I guess if you had Mark and his "I'm always right because I'm the commander" attitude, you'd probably be like Jason, too.

American television, especially children's television, has this annoying tendency to be heavy handed in the morality.  The hero is always right, does the right thing, and always does as he's told, never questioning it even if he may disagree with it.  And if he does disagree with it, we, the audience, are never told this.  Our heroes are supposed to be perfect, and Mark is portrayed as such.  I am trying not to get into a rant about why I don't care for Mark here.  Really.  This show is no exception to this, but it's nice to have someone like Jason around who stirs things up a bit, even if Mark usually wins in the end.

I do have to thank all the fan fic writers who have taken Mark and made him likeable to me in their stories.  

As I mentioned before, Jason was my first Condor and responsible for my G-2 obsession.  Then I found Joe when I saw the original Gatchaman.  However, they are not the only two Condors.  There's a few more to go along with the different incarnations of Gatchaman that came to the US.  There's  _G-Force:  Guardians of Space's_ Dirk Daring.  While he looks like the others, I really can't get past the name without rolling my eyes.  There's also a guy by the name of Joe Thax, from  _Eagle Riders_ (Eagle _Riders_ was produced by Saban, who gave us _Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers_.  That show was a splicing of episodes from the second and third Gatchaman series.).  I've never seen that show or that incarnation, but from what I hear, Mr. Thax is fond of internal voiceovers.  But I can't really comment on him.  And then there's OAV Joe, from the Gatchaman '94 OAV.  While OAV Joe is nice to look at (He gets a few gratuitous fan service shots in that one, the Infamous Shower Scene, for one.  And those "Abs of Steel" we see because he's not wearing a shirt underneath his leather jacket), he lacks the personality of both Joe and Jason.  I blame that on the OAV creators trying to cram 105 episodes of the original Gatchaman into three forty-five minute episodes.  They tried to get so much into those episodes; there was no time for character development.  I have to admit that there are times I wonder what would have happened if Sandy Frank had bought the rights to the OAV, retranslated it, redid it, and gave us Battle of the Planets '94.  Hmmm...OAV Jason.  *grin*  But then again, OAV Zark.  *shudder* 

As far as the episode goes, it was mainly an introduction to the show and its premise.

As you know, I can't stand 7-Zark-7.  I couldn't stand him when I was 8 years old (the age I was when BoTP debuted in 1978).  I may hate on Zark, but I mean no disrespect to the actor who voiced him, Alan Young, who seems like a wonderful person.  He actually was the voice of Scrooge McDuck. 

There is a little continuity thing I didn't mention above.  When Mark gives the order to go to Fiery Phoenix, Jason goes to sit down, but Mark is speaking.  So Mark can throw his voice?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This review was originally written in 2002 and has been tweeked a bit to bring it up to date.


	2. Gatchaman versus Turtle King

It's a dark and stormy night (Look!  I've taken a creative writing course).  We're seaside and rain is coming down and the waves are crashing against some rocks.  Out from the depths, maybe not quite 30 stories high, I couldn't tell if it was breathing fire, but it's head was definitely in the sky, it's Godzilla!  No, Godzilla wasn't fat.  I know!  It's MechaGamera.  No, I don't see any children in the vicinity or hear the Gamera song (" _Gamera!  Gamera!  Gamera is really neat/Gamera is filled with meat/We've been eating Gamera!"_ Okay, I know, that was the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Gamera song Joel and the 'Bots sung during the Gamera Movie Marathon of Season 3. Forgive me, but I'm also a fan of that show, too) No, wait, it's Turtle King.  Turtle King looks around and then it decides to fly off.  It flies over a city.  Meanwhile, in an observation tower, the lone occupant reports that visibility is low due to the storm, however, everything is normal.  And as soon as he opens his mouth, Turtle King is seen flying towards his observation tower.  The guy in the tower goes, "A M-monster!"  Then Turtle King fries the tower.  Then TK lands, kicks some rocks, and goes walking (upright like a person) off to go and cause more wanton destruction.  He steps on a building.  TK's foot lands in a hallway and a bunch of people go running off.  Then Turtle King's foot comes down a short distance away.  Turtle King squishes a few people in the process.

The conventional military is outside, waiting to take out the unwanted guest.  A guy, who I assume is a commander, says that the monster is breaking into the uranium storage.  He orders the army to attack.  They launch all kinds of things at Turtle King, but their weapons are useless against the overgrown metal turtle.  While Turtle King is getting shot at, he sticks his head inside this building and steals the uranium, using little cars with grippy things on them. The army shoots at TK's metal turtle bum.  When finished, TK takes out some jeeps and people and other stuff by merely swatting at it with his tail.  Yes, Turtle King has a tail.  Having gotten what it came for, Turtle King makes like a tree and leaves.  (I know, that wasn't funny.)  The commander calls Turtle King a "damn uranium thief".  Turtle King has a lovely parting gift for the army.  He shoots some lasers at them and everything is all orangey.  Then we have a series of still shots of Turtle King wreaking havoc and these shots get progressively smaller until one appears on the wall of a very large conference room.

A Narrator pipes in, saying that the monster robot has sent the world into turmoil of terror.  World leaders are gathered at the International Science Organization, also known as ISO, but the narrator doesn't mention if they are 9002 Certified.  A big guy with a big handlebar mustache stands up.  He says, "We are all using science to develop non-pollution energy.  But the uranium, to be used for world peace (as opposed to making nukes), was stolen by the monster robot."  The man says that it is disturbing to those who seek world peace.  Then this really old guy goes, "Director Anderson, who actually did this?"  Anderson doesn't know.  The men in the room talk amongst themselves, saying that the robot monster will be back and they have to do something.  Director Anderson goes, "But no one knows their true identities."  Then a voice goes, "I do."  A man with brown hair, a mustache, and eye glasses that seem to stay up without any visible means of support stands up.  His name is Dr. Nambu.  He tells the people in the room that the responsible party is Galactor.  Everyone else looks around at each other in confusion.  Nambu explains that Galactor has terrifying technology and they want to take over the world.  Nambu doesn't know where Galactor's headquarters are but he says it can be discovered in secret.  A guy with a really thin mustache wants to know how, since even ISO's top spies haven't been able to find that out.  Nambu says there are people who can do this.  "Sometimes they are five.  Sometimes they are one.  They are white shadows that act unseen.  Their name is the Science Ninja Team."

But enough of that meeting.  We are now witnessing a Cessna in flight.  Its pilot is a young man with brown hair, cut like that of David Cassidy (aka Keith Partridge), and he has these really big blue eyes.  He is wearing a red shirt with blue sleeves bearing the number 1 on the front.  The pilot is wearing blue flying gloves and some sort of bracelet.  The bracelet chimes and the pilot raises it to speak into it.  He says, "This is Gatchaman.  Go ahead."  It's Nambu.  Nambu informs the pilot about Turtle King and informs Gatchaman to "gather and launch the God Phoenix immediately."   The plane swoops low over water, then goes back up.  In the cockpit, Gatchaman circles his left arm, the one with the bracelet, in front of him and shouts out in heavily accented English, "Bird Go!"  Some swirly bits happen and Gatchaman is now in his white and blue Eagle Birdstyle.  His plane has changed into a jet.

Okay, I'm not going to describe what everyone looks like because I did that in the Battle of the Planets Episode One Review. .  It's the same scene in this one, but in this one, we don't have Zark telling us how he watches over the team, to whom he pays special attention and doesn't know why, and bad mouthing one of the team because he thinks for himself.  But I digress...

The narrator steps in at this point, as we see the jet flying and introduces us to  _Owashio no Ken_ or Ken, the Eagle.  He is Gatchaman, G-1, the commander of the Science Ninja Team.

On land, a young woman in her Birdstyle is speeding along on her motorcycle.  The narrator says she is  _Shiritori no Jun_ or Jun the Swan.  She is G-3, she carries the yo-yo bomb.

Out of the water comes a red and blue ship, The God Phoenix.  It's pilot is  _Mimizuku no Ryu_ or Ryu the Horned Owl.  He is G-5.  Besides being the pilot, his weapon is his own brute strength.  Ryu is a big guy because he is sumo trained, not someone who gorges out on food all the time.

As we see Jun docking her bike with the God Phoenix, the narrator gives us the back story on the Science Ninja Team, or  _Kagaku Ninja Tai._ They are teenage ninjas assembled by Dr. Nambu.  Their mission is to use various machines invented by Dr. Nambu to defeat Galactor and stop their plans for world domination.  They are also to find Galactor bases and their headquarters.

Next is a orange and red tracker.  It is driven by  _Tsubakurou no Jinpei_ or Jinpei the Swallow.  He is G-4 and he isn't quite a teenager yet.  While his American counterpart Keyop is "manufactured", Jinpei is a real boy.  And he doesn't have a speech problem, either, thank God.  He is also picked up by the God Phoenix.

And last, but by no means least, we see a blue race car driving along with the God Phoenix following closely.  This another moment Ms. Ann has been waiting for.  Meet  _Kondoru no Joe_ or Joe the Condor.  He is G-2, the gunner, the second in command, the feather shuriken carrying, cable gun toting tortured hero that so many female fans of this show lust after.  *sigh*

Then Ken docks his plane into the back of the God Phoenix.  The narrator tells us that the KNT has now completed their mechanical assembly of G-1 through G-5.  We get that famous panning shot of the team that ended up in the opening credits of Battle of the Planets.

Nambu comes on the monitor to brief the team.  He informs them that radar has lost the ship, but it's Galactor, so they should be careful.  Jinpei, tossing his bolos, says, "'Garakuta' is nothing.  That sounds like a bunch of scraps."  Jun tells him that it's Galactor, not "Garakuta".  Nambu says that the monster robot is a rampaging turtle and many civilians have been killed.  Joe clasps his hands together and says, "Unforgivable.  Damn the monster turtle.  I'll destroy it with Bird Missiles."  Nambu replies rather sternly, "No!  Fighting is not the only purpose of the Science Ninja Team.  You have to locate Galactor headquarters."  Then he scolds, "Joe, don't be so hasty."  Joe turns his back on Nambu, much like Jason did to Zark.  Then Nambu addresses Ken.  He says "Gatchaman, you're the leader of the Science Ninja Team.  Be mindful of your duties and orders and always act with discretion."  Ken goes, "Yes."  Nambu wishes them good luck.

There is the pan shot across the bridge, and like in BotP, Joe and Ken switch places when we're apparently not looking.  Ken is next to Jun and Jun goes, "Maybe it's not coming out."  Ken replies, "It'll come out.  I know it."  Jun goes, "Really, though, Ken, it'd be cool to fight the monster robot, wouldn't it?"  Then Ken says, "Jun, I'd like to hit it with a missile."  Then he realizes what he said and calls himself stupid.  Jun giggles.  Ryu sees some swirling water and wonders what that is.  Jinpei, playing with his bolos, goes sarcastically, "Hmmm, oceans and turtle.  Think about it."  Ken orders Ryu to check it out.  Ryu takes the God Phoenix underwater.

The team comes across some smoke.  They follow it through an underwater cave.  Jinpei says, "There's no mistaking it.  It's the turtle's trail."  Up on dry land, Turtle King starts rampaging again.  This time, it looks like he's hit a weapons storage place or a military base.  The conventional military can't stop Turtle King.  Meanwhile, the KNT has come out of the cave and is surfacing.  They come across the damage to find Turtle King causing even more damage.  Jinpei goes, "It's the turtle monster!"  Joe says, "Shit!  It does just as it wants!"  The KNT watches the destruction until Joe has had enough of it.  He tells Ryu to get closer to the Turtle King.  Joe wants to fire a Bird Missile at it.  Ken stops Joe.  "You're violating orders, Joe?" he says.  Joe replies, "It depends.  I'll get inside and snuff out it's life."  Ken reminds Joe that their mission is to watch the monster robot and locate Galactor headquarters.  Ken orders Ryu to move away so they're not seen by Turtle King.  Joe disagrees with Ken.  Then he asks Ken, "Are you afraid?"  Ken is like, "What?"  And then they stare each other down.

Time for commercial break.

We're back.

Amidst a sea of flame, the Turtle King rises and starts flying away.  Jun tells Ken that the monster robot is heading towards the city.  Ken's like, "Oh?"  Jinpei says that the city will be destroyed and Jun points out that innocent people will die.  Ryu is seen wiping his nose.  He says, "It's such a shame, I'm going to cry."  Jinpei sniffles and says he feels like crying, too.  Jun, standing over Ken's shoulder, wants to know what they should do.  Joe, standing over Ken's other shoulder, says, "I'm not following your orders again.  Fire Bird Missiles into it!"  Joe goes up to the Big Red Button, but before he can do anything else, Ken stops him.  Joe tells him not to interfere.  Ken turns to Ryu and tells him to get them closer to Turtle King.  Joe gets this wicked grin on his face and says, "Ken, that's better."  Ken replies, "Don't be hasty, Joe.  We'll just smash this guy's eyes out."  Joe kind of sighs and says, "That's good enough for me."

Ken's got a plan.  The plan is for two of them to get inside through an open ventilator shaft.  Jinpei goes, "This is what I've waited for!  The Great Swallow Jinpei, 18th generation Iga Ninja..."

Ken interrupts him.  "...Is not going."  Ken says that they'll be taking back the uranium and that they'll be risking their lives.  Then Ken decides that he's going alone.  Joe says he's going, too.  Jun says, "Wait a minute!  Hazardous materials are my duty.  I'm going, too.  Joe, too bad for you."  Joe turns around, and I can't exactly say he looks all that disappointed or ticked off.  I can only describe his look as maybe, "Hmmph!"  Jinpei tells Jun, "You just want to be with Ken, right  _onechan_?"  Jun puts her hands to her face and blushes then goes, "Oh...you!".  Jinpei giggles.

The Phoenix flies near the Turtle King.  Ken and Jun are in the top bubble and they jump and glide to the Galactor mech.  Someone hit the reverb pedal because Ken goes, "Bird!"  and Jun goes, "Flight!" and there's this funky reverb!  They get inside Turtle King.  Some Green Goons spot the two and they basically kick their butts.  When finished, Jun is seen playing with her yo-yo weapon in what is probably an uncharacteristic cocky moment.  Ken goes, "Be careful, Jun.  When we die, it will be together."  Awwwww!  Jun goes, "Trust me" as she puts the yo-yo bomb back into its holster.  As she is flying up, she tells Ken to be careful, too.  Ken goes down, in search of the uranium.  But he doesn't find it.  Jun goes up.  She ends up in a room that houses the controls to Turtle King's laser guns.  She rigs up a bomb.

As Jun is doing this, The Galactor Commander of the Week, a guy wearing a mask Mr. Ann O'Malley says looks a lot like a cross between an HP Lovecraft monster and Hello Kitty, spots the God Phoenix and gives the order to shoot it down.  When they shoot, the gun explodes instead.  Jun got the bomb set and got out of there just in the nick of time.

Ken opens the bottom hatch on Turtle King to let the God Phoenix come in.  The ship does, and Ryu, Jinpei, and Joe come out.  Ken tells them, just as Jun is re-joining the team that the uranium isn't inside Turtle King's body.  Ryu thinks that they've just wasted their time.  Ken says that Jun delivered a good beating and that they should get out of there before there's trouble.  Jinpei wonders what about the....  He doesn't get to finish his sentence, as he is interrupted by Evil Cackling.  Hello Cthulu has found them.  Up on a higher level stand Hello Cthulu and a platoon of green goonies, their weapons pointed at the KNT.  Ken goes, "Damn, it's too late!"  Jinpei goes, "Now it's my turn!"  Joe, while looking up, gets this grin on his face.  He turns to Ken and says, "Ken, it's time to violate orders."  Ken replies, "Looks like it."  And Ken is kind of smiling, too.

Hello Cthulu goes, "You've thrown away your lives when you sneaked aboard Galactor's monster robot, Turtle King.  We shall have your names before we kill you all."

Ken goes, "Sometimes we are five.  Sometimes we are one..."

Joe and Ryu come together and link arms at the shoulders.  Then Ken and Jun come together.  They stand on Ryu's and Joe's shoulders and then they, too, link arms at the shoulders.  Then Jinpei stands on Ken and Jun's shoulders.

Ken continues,  "We are white shadows that slip in unseen."  (To paraphrase and not borrow from Rhino's translation.)

Jinpei shouts, "We are warriors for justice.  Science Ninja Team!"  (or in Japanese, "Kagaku Ninja Tai")

"What?"  Hello Cthulu says.

Ken replies, "The name is Gatchaman!"

"Gatchaman?" asks Hello Cthulu.

Jinpei yells out, "  _Nimpo Tatsumaki Fighter!_ "  Or in English, "Ninja Technique, Tornado Fighter!"  The Japanese sounds better.

So now the team launches into their famous Tornado Fighter move.  They spin around, causing this huge whirlwind.  Goons and guns go flying.  The team goes flying upwards, where they break up and start taking on goons.  Two goons are thrown over a railing and literally go bouncing out the hatch.  We also get to see Joe and Ryu fight, unlike in BotP, where we didn't get to see Jason and Tiny fight.  Now I know why we didn't get to see them fight.  Ryu grabs two goons by the neck and smashes them into the wall.  Joe pins a goon to the wall with two feather shuriken and then proceeds to gleefully punch him in the gut a few times before taking off.  Ryu gets to play "Green Goon Bowling".  He throws a goon into a bunch of other goons and they all go falling down.  Ken tosses the Birdrang and finishes the job, striking that famous pose when he catches it.  Now the team are standing among the bodies.

Hello Cthulu has escaped and is reporting to a guy in a pointy eared purple mask, whom he refers to as "Berg Katse-sama".  Katse doesn't know what they should do next, so he consults a blue apparition that lives in some kind of tube, bubble, fish tank, whatever.  Sosai X, the blue poultry-like apparition, first tells Katse that the Science Ninja Team will be Galactor's greatest enemy and not to underestimate them.  "Unless the Science Ninja Team is destroyed, Galactor will not reach it's goal of world domination."  Katse decides to blow up Turtle King and let the KNT share it's fate.

Hello Cthulu escapes in the turtle's head.  Ken sees this and orders everyone back to the God Phoenix.  Onboard Turtle King's Head, Hello Cthulu goes, "Damned Science Ninja Team.  Go to hell!"  He pushes some kind of button.

At this point, the Narrator chimes in.  He says, "Galactor has attached a time bomb to destroy the monster along with the Science Ninja Team.  Gatchaman is in danger."  The team is running back to the God Phoenix.  They get inside and start taking off.  Just when they are almost out, the engines on Turtle King die and the big mechanical turtle body starts falling towards the earth.  The God Phoenix is knocked back.  It starts to exit and it's almost out when one of the wing pods get stuck in the door.  Ken calls for the "Kagaku _Ninpo Hinotori!_ "  Jun and Jinpei look at Ken like he's been smoking crack.  Joe goes, "Ken, using that would put us in..."  Ken goes, "I know.  We'll have to endure intolerable pressure and the God Phoenix may even disintegrate in mid-air.  But what other choice do we have?  The Science Ninja Team could die with this turtle monster!"  Now the entire team is looking at Ken with their jaws dropped sort of like, "Did you just say what I thought you said?"

The Turtle King and the God Phoenix continue to hurtle towards the earth.  They are over the ocean.

Joe takes his seat and goes, "Right!  Let's try it!"  He grabs onto a lever and shouts out, "Kagaku _Ninpo Hinotori!_ "  (Because the Japanese sounds so much better than "Science Ninja Technique, Firebird!)  Joe pushes up on the lever.  Ken goes, "Okay, Let's bring the generator into the Red Zone."  The ship starts glowing and everyone looks like they are in a lot of pain.  They are getting closer to the ocean and there is some land nearby.  The needle on the time bomb inside the Turtle King hits zero at the same time the needle on the God Phoenix hits the Red Zone.  There is a huge explosion and we see the team in the God Phoenix just grimacing, because this has to hurt!  It's really quiet, until pieces of Turtle King fall into the water.

Hello Cthulu is not forgotten.  He is in the head, cackling at himself for a job well done.  Something catches his eye.  He's all, "Huh?"  Out of the explosion comes this mass of fire which takes the form of the Phoenix, the mythical firebird that rises from the ashes.  The Narrator pipes in, saying. "The God Phoenix plunged along with the Turtle King but it became a firebird and soared high!  What is the Science Ninja Technique, Firebird? A life and death gamble?"  The narrator wonders, "What is the fate of Gatchaman?"  Then he says, as the Firebird is flying off into the sunset.  "Go, Gatchaman!"

Then the end credits.  I should point out that Rhino misspelled Joe's name in the subtitle.  I know the J is next to the K on a keyboard, but it's Joe and not Koe.

 

* * *

**Thoughts from Ms. Ann:**

What can I say?  The first time I saw this episode I was floored by it.  So floored, in fact that I called in sick to work to stay home and watch them over and over again.  (And it made enough of an impression on me that I actually remember calling in sick from work to watch this again).  This was a kid's show in Japan, but yet it was so grown up.  Keyop didn't stutter!  And no Zark!

Obviously, there was more violence and there was profanity that had to be edited out for American consumption at the time.  And considering that the Action for Children's Television was active back in 1978, a lot got cut out of it.  I think if this were made now, not as much would have been cut out of it or they would have just dubbed the original and aired it on cable TV.  But even though the explanations for these edits in BotP can run on the silly side, I have to give Sandy Frank credit for trying, though.  Sometimes I wonder if there weren't arguments between the producers and Peggy Charon and her cronies about content.  Having watched both versions of the first eight episodes, there were some things cut out that weren't violent at all.

Action for Children's Television was this group that decided that kid's shows were too violent and went on a crusade to water down children's programming.  They are responsible for the heavy handed morality in American cartoons in the 70's and 80's.  They weren't content to let parents decide for themselves what their children should watch; rather, they dictated it to animators.  The group, from what I understand, kind of died out in the 90's.  I think it's kind of amusing that they were so militant about this at a time when television got away with less than it gets away with now.  I can still remember when someone saying "Damn" was a big deal and during the network broadcast of "Blazing Saddles", all the farting that occurred during the Infamous Baked Beans around the Campfire scene were edited out (but you could still tell what was going on without actually hearing the noises).  I find it amusing that they were on this crusade when a kid could watch the evening news and see soldiers in the jungles of Vietnam on TV or a hijacker pointing a gun to a plane pilot's head.  Or we were in the room when our parents were watching Starsky and Hutch. 

But back to Gatchaman.  When watching it the first few times, it answered a lot of questions for me.  Like, why was Jason the way he was and why didn't we get to see him more in the show.  Joe is a darker character and his fighting was more violent and it would have been difficult for the Americans to explain that the goons "weren't really hurt."

Watching this led me to the Internet where I was in for an even bigger surprise.  Joe, was not only a darker character than Jason, but he died at the end of the series.  There were twenty more episodes of Gatchaman than Battle of the Planets.  Ken was not a patronizing know-it-all.  (Yay!)  He thinks he's right because he's in charge at times, but he does have a temper, he makes mistakes, he has a bar tab, and he can be as bad ass as Joe.

There is more character depth on this version that the other version lacks.  Ken is the duty bound leader.  Joe is the loner, the tortured hero with vengeance on his mind.  Jun is the token female who sometimes drifts between being a complete wuss and being a Betty Bad-Ass.  Jinpei is the wise cracking kid who tries so hard to be taken seriously.  And Ryu is the laid back one with the sumo training who can kill a man with his bare hands.  They are all good at their jobs and are like family to each other.

In this episode, which I rather liked, the good guys didn't get the uranium back.  And the narrator didn't tell us that they got it back, even though we didn't see it.  The KNT didn't always win the battles on their show.

Nambu was completely edited out of the BotP version of this episode.  I suspect that maybe the producers thought they could replace him with Zark, but then along the line, found out that they couldn't, so they called him "Chief Anderson".

I love this version.  Don't get me wrong, Battle of the Planets will always be a very warm and fuzzy memory of my childhood.  This version appeals to me more as an adult.

This episode review was originally written in 2002, which was three years before the ADV Box Sets were released.  I've referenced the subtitled version that was part of the Rhino Battle of the Planets DVD's.  I own the ADV box sets and I've also seen all 105 episodes of this show now.  Despite the fact that I pretty much knew what happened during the course of this series, I still managed to be blown away when I finally saw episode 81 and the last five episodes for myself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This review was originally written in 2002, before the ADV dubs existed. When Rhino originally began to release episodes of "Battle of the Planets", the DVD also featured the corresponding Gatchaman episode. This was the version I used. Rhino's translation, while accurate, is somewhat stiffer than the ADV translation.


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